


Love notes

by Flavortext



Series: canon feelings BABY [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Best Friends in Love, F/F, Getting Together, Love Notes, beau: this is the most beautiful woman i have ever seen, caleb is NOT paid enough to deal with this, everyone knows beau and jester are in love but beau and jester, fjord is the gay best friend we all deserve, hes a little lost but hes got spirit, jester: covered in gore, this is just soft thats all u need to know, yasha Knows tm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21710470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flavortext/pseuds/Flavortext
Summary: “Your secret is safe with me. Though,” Yasha pauses, “You are not very good at hiding it, if you are going to be leaving gifts addressed from all of us without telling anyone in advance.” Yasha smiles lightheartedly. Beau groans.“Sorry, thanks for covering my ass.”-A pt. 2 to my post ep 84 fic! No longer canon-ish bc I took my sweet time with this one rip
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Series: canon feelings BABY [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564819
Comments: 16
Kudos: 179





	Love notes

They reach Nicodranas in the early morning. Jester stops by her mother’s alone while the rest of the gang shops and Nott visits her family, who had rented a little home away from the Chateau. Beau’s trip consists of searching out spell components with the boys until Fjord  _ attempts  _ to stealthily drag her aside, failing, and drags her away anyways under Caduceus’ quizzical stares. He leads Beau red-faced into a small shop lined with stationary, perfume, flowers (both fake and real) and pretty much everything that could come to mind with the word “cutesey”. Beau almost leaves immediately, but Fjord leads her to a little notepad decorated with drawings of pastries, and a little stuffed unicorn. Beau leaves with the packages wrapped under her arms. 

“What am I even going to- when do I give these to her?” Beau hisses as they trek back towards the docks. 

“Well, the toy you could frame as good luck? For Travelercon?” He suggests. Beau nods, that doesn’t seem too far into the realm of flirting. “And I was thinking you could write her love letters, on the paper.” Fjord adds. Beau stops in her tracks. 

“Love letters?!” She yelps. Fjord turns to her. 

“Yeah, that’s like, prime romancing,” Fjord says. Beau groans.

“But it will just be weird! She’ll know they’re coming from me, or one of us at least, and I see her every day! She’ll ask me about it!” This makes Fjord think for a moment. 

“What if you just wrote...inspirational notes? Good morning, compliments, that kind of thing? To keep her spirits up. After the Gentleman, with all this, she’s been less peppy.” He suggests. Beau looks down at the little paper-wrapped rectangle in her hands. 

“I’ll think about it.” She grunts. Fjord looks pleased and continues walking. 

They board the Ball Eater in a rush, the plank being drawn up as soon as Nott can be convinced to scramble up the wood. Orly gives a little wave to Fjord and sets about introducing the rest of the crew to him. Beau and Jester carry everyone’s bags below deck to their respective quarters, and the boat begins to move as they set their own bags down. 

“Here we go, I guess,” Jester says nervously. She’s been shifty ever since they set out from the house that morning. 

“You ready?” Beau asks, feeling stupid. She tries to inconspicuously stuff her gifts into her backpack. Jester sighs, sitting down on her bunk in the small room. 

“I mean, it’s going to be  _ super fun _ , so of  _ course.”  _ She says, voice still high with anxiety. Beau hums and turns back around, sitting on her own bunk with her elbows on her knees. 

“But it’s a big deal. We don’t know what to expect. It’s okay if you’re a little jittery.” She says slowly. Jester pouts, not meeting Beau’s eyes. 

“I feel kind of stupid. After everything, I feel like we’re ignoring some... pretty big shit, to go running off after this.” She says softly. Beau nods. It’s a discussion they haven’t had explicitly as a group, but she’s sure it’s on everyone's minds. 

“Hey, Jes,” She says gently. “Obann is a dick, and a powerful dick. But we took down a major part of his plan. And we have Yasha back, so we’re that much stronger the next time we run into him. But we need  _ you _ at your best, too, to have any chance of stopping this. So- I guess I can’t speak for the group, but  _ I  _ am happy to go to the ends of the earth to make sure you do what you need to do, get more powerful, whatever it takes.” Beau’s voice cracks a little. Jester looks up at her, lips pursed together. 

“Really?” She asks softly. 

“That’s what friends are for. Mighty Nein comes first.” Beau says. Jester smiles, nodding. 

“I love you, you’re the best friend I could ask for.” She says. Beau’s heart skips a little. 

“Same here, Jessie.” She says. Jester’s tail flicks on the bedsheets. 

“We should go back up, see where we’re needed.” She says after a moment. Beau stands, cracking her back, and offers a hand to Jester. The tiefling takes it, gives their joined fingers a squeeze, and drops her hand to beat Beau to the door, rushing up to the deck. BEau laughs and goes to follow, but pauses. She rushes back to her bag and pulls out the note paper and her journal and pencil. She carefully tears out a page of notepaper and taps her pencil against her lip for a moment, before writing. 

_ Jester,  _

_ We all believe in you! You’re going to be the coolest worshiper at this thing. M9 has your back!  _

_ Love,  _

_ Beau _

Beau pauses for a second, staring at the last words, and then quickly scribbles _and Fjord and Caleb and Nott and Caduceus_ _and Yasha_ behind her name. She unwraps the stuffed animal and folds the paper, tucking both under the fold of Jester’s sheet, before rushing out of the room before she can overthink it. 

The ocean air grows cold their first night, winds keeping the sails full. Caduceus serves up a great meal, and one by one the group begins to retire. 

“I’ll keep first watch!” Nott says. She’s a little drunk, uneasy back on the water, but keeping it together better than expected, having spent the day going over Halas’ spellbook again with Caleb. 

“I’ll join you,” Beau says quickly. Nott gives her a questioning look, they’d usually only keep one person up each shift with the deckhands to assist, but she doesn’t poke. Beau wipes her mouth and crosses the deck, leaning out over the rail. Dark water splits around the boat, the wood under her feet rocking slightly. It’s almost calming if she wasn’t so worried about Jester’s reaction to her gift. She’s managed to keep herself busy in the rigging to stop herself from going back and stuffing the toy back in her bag, but barely. Beau hardly listens to the rest of her friend's goodbyes. Jolting a little when a hand rests on her shoulder. 

“Everything alright?” Fjord says quietly. Beau relaxes, leaning back against the wood. 

“Left a note. From all of us, ‘cause I’m a chicken shit, but with the dumb toy. Hopefully she likes it.” Beau says. Fjord grins.

“That’s great!” He says, trying to keep his voice down. “She will.” He adds, quieter. Beau grunts, turning her head up towards the stars. 

“Thanks, man.” She says. Fjord pats her shoulder. 

“I’m in your corner, she’ll love it.” He says. Beau forces herself to give him a smile and waves him off as he retires to his quarters. Beau stares out over the stars, letting the sound of waves crashing overshadow any anxious thoughts. She can’t quell a slight swell of  _ what if _ excitement, knowing that by now Jester is back in their room. She wishes she could Scry, just to see her reaction. She jumps when there’s a shrill voice at her side. 

“Beau!” Nott screeches. Beau jumps, 

“Ach, what?” She says, stuffing her hands into her pockets. Nott crosses her arms. 

“Did you talk to Fjord?” She asks accusingly. 

“About what?” Beau asks. Nott briefly looks around the mostly empty deck. 

“About  _ Jester _ .” She hisses. Beau groans, crouching down a bit to Nott’s level. 

“I did.” She whispers. Nott crosses her arms smugly. 

“What’d he say?” She asks. Beau chews her lip. 

“He said uh, he’s not interested in her like that. So, fair game. Not that I’m going to  _ do  _ anything. Yet.” Beau says. Nott nods, tapping her foot. 

“Keeping this between us is probably best,” she says. Beau nods. 

“I really doubt I have a chance, she’s probably only into men, it’d be my kind of luck,” Beau says grumpily. Nott narrows her eyes. 

“I can find that out for you,” Nott says quickly. Beau squawks. 

“No! You just said I shouldn’t do anything!” 

“I’m not saying you  _ should. _ But if you were too, that’s good information to have. And detective work is my middle name.” Not grins, teeth glinting. 

“It’s literally not. I will have Jester message Yeza and ask,  _ please _ don’t do anything that would let her figure this out-” Beau is cut off by Nott putting a finger to her lips. 

“I’ve  _ got this _ , Beauregard. She won’t suspect a thing. And, if you do make a move, and you hurt her, I will kill you.” Nott says bluntly. Beau sighs. 

“I won’t hurt her.” She says, resigned. Not gives another nod and scampers off towards the crow's nest. Beau straightens up and leans back against the rail. She nearly loses her balance as a voice creeps into her head. 

_ Beau I know you’re feeling grumpy today but I wanted to say thank you and I love you okay goodnight say thanks to everyone okay? _

Jester’s voice sounds sleepy and a little thick through her sending. Beau curses herself. 

“I love you too Jes. As I said, we’re all here for you. Travellercon Is going to go fine.” Beau says quietly back. She waits a minute and doesn’t get another message, so she peels herself away from the railing and sits on the ledge above the door to the captain's quarters. The moon is mostly full, and Beau watches as streaks of clouds blot it out and blow past, endless sea still dark and quiet around them. 

Eventually, the hatch to bellow decks opens, and a bed-headed Yasha climbs out, stretching in the night air. Beau rises and meets her on the main deck. 

“I’ll take your watch,” Yasha says softly.

“Thanks, how are you feeling?” Beau knows it’s a stupid question, but the whole group keeps making a point to ask it. Yasha is quiet for a long moment. 

“Better, I think.” Yasha pauses. “Jester liked your gift. I lied and said I helped pick it out.” Yasha’s lips twitch into a smile. Beau curses herself. Somehow she’d... forgotten that Yasha would be rooming with them again, after so long with just having it be her and Jester. 

“Sorry, I forgot she might ask you about it. Fjord found it, actually.” Beau says. Yasha smiles. 

“You are kinder than you let yourself think, Beau,” Yasha says. Beau scratches her head. “She is lucky to have your affections,” Yasha adds. Beau gapes. 

“My- what?” Beau tries to sound confused. Yasha shakes her head. 

“You do not have to explain yourself to me. And no one told me if you’re worried about that. But, I can see how you feel about her. I support it. You are good for each other.” Yasha says. Beau fights back a spew of deflections, replacing them with a very stiff nod. 

“I’m not going to act on it. Not right now.” She says. Yasha looks out over the ocean. 

“Things are chaotic right now, the timing might not be right.” She says. Beau nods. “But I would help if you choose to act later. Wingman, is that the word?” Yasha says with a smile. Beau rubs her temples. 

“Just don’t tell anyone, for now, okay?” Beau pleads. Yasha nods, patting Beau’s shoulder. 

“Your secret is safe with me. Though,” Yasha pauses, “You are not very good at hiding it, if you are going to be leaving gifts addressed from all of us without telling anyone in advance.” Yasha smiles lightheartedly. Beau groans. 

“Sorry, thanks for covering my ass.” She says, toeing open the hatch at her feet. Yasha nods. 

“Solidarity, right?” She says. Beau looks back at her. 

“Fuck yeah, solidarity.” She offers a fist to Yasha, who tentatively reaches out and shakes it. 

“Fistbump was what I was going for, but sure.” Beau laughs, grateful when Yasha chuckles along with her. 

“Goodnight, Beau,” Yasha calls as Beau descents to the lower deck. Beau lets the hatch fall closed and treads quietly to their room. The lamp is off, and she creaks the door open slowly. Jester’s quiet sleeping breaths stay even as she kicks off her boots and pulls back her blankets. Before she takes them off, Beau presses her goggles to her eyes, peering at Jester in the dark. The tiefling has her nightgown on, silvery tattoo glittering on her skin. She also had the unicorn snuggled up to her chest alongside Sprinkle, the weasel resting his little head on the fluffy toy. Beau exhales an unsteady breath and drops the goggles on the floor between her bed and Yasha’s bedroll as quietly as she can. She turns away from Jester, facing the wall, and pulls the blanket up over her head. It’s just a dumb crush, she repeats to herself. She’ll either get over it or get her heartbroken. Beau repeats the words to herself over and over until she falls asleep. 

Jester is exhausted. They’ve been sailing through this storm for days now, with no way of knowing how far off-course it’s blown them. Orly claims it's close to clearing up, but she’s used almost all her spells on control water, tried to nap but literally fallen out of bed onto Yasha’s sword and had to use her last spell slots healing the cuts and bruises that caused. She’s now sitting with her back to the wall in Fjord’s cabin, along with Caleb, who focused on watching where Fjord stands out on the balcony, braced against the rolling waves and keeping the ship afloat in time with Caduceus’ efforts. Caleb watches anxiously, spellbook open in front of him but thankfully so far not needed. 

Jester fiddles with her closed journal in her lap. Fjord shouts something that's lost to them on the wind, and the ship rolls around them. 

“Caleb?” Jester asks, thumbing at the soft worn edge of her journal’s spine. Caleb barely looks over to her, eyes trained on Fjord, but makes a soft noise to let her know he heard. 

“Thank you for coming with me, here,” Jester says. Caleb glances at her. 

“Of course, Jester. We’re all here for you.” He says slowly, confused. Jester shakes her head. 

“I  _ know _ , I just also know things have been really scary, and I guess this could be small compared to like, Tharazidun,” She says. Caleb nods but speaks quickly. 

“It is scary, but this is your god. This is important, whether or not it makes you any stronger or helps us on that front at all, it is worth it because it is important to you.” He says. Jester nods, chewing her lip while he looks back towards Fjord. 

“That’s pretty much what Beau said too,” Jester says. Caleb’s lip twitches into a smile. 

“She is right, then.” 

“Great minds.” Jester chuckles along with Caleb. 

“ _ Ja, _ she has a good one.” Caleb pauses, looking towards Jester for a moment again. “I am glad the two of you are close.” He says. Jester gets the sense that he is looking at her closely, for some kind of reaction. She inclines her head and tries to meet his eyes. 

“We’re roommates, duh,” Jester says. Caleb nods, looking away. 

“Right, of course. But more than that, you get each other. You bring out the best in each other. I am glad she had you, and that you have her.” Caleb says. Jester feels like she’s failed a test, though for what she isn’t sure. 

“She’s my first real friend, I got super lucky I guess,” Jester says. 

“Did you not meet Fjord first?” Caleb asks. Jester wrinkles her nose. 

“I mean, yeah, but we didn’t become  _ friends _ as quickly as Beau and I did. Not that we aren’t friends! Just,” Jester waffles for a moment. “I guess I felt different about him, for a while.” She stares down at her hands, clasped around her book. 

“You liked him, that’s what you mean?” Caleb clarifies. Jester sighs. 

“I think I  _ thought _ I did, or that I  _ should, _ so I pretended like I did and I flirted and tried to be close to him and it just- it was kind of like talking to a brick wall, you know? Most of the time at least.” 

“I think I know what you mean,” Caleb says with a chuckle. Jester shrugs and shakes her head. 

“I think we’ve been better the more I just think of him as just a friend.” She says. 

“How long has that been?” Caleb asks, turning to her again. Jester thinks for a moment. 

“I think... after Avantika, I started to pull away, but especially after Beau and Reani got together that one time, I just realized that the way I felt about him wasn’t anything like the way I  _ wanted _ a relationship to feel like,” Jester says. Caleb nods slowly. 

“You want...something like what they had?” He asks, sounding unsure. Jester quickly shakes her head. 

“No, I don’t want just to hook up with someone! But I heard all the things Reani said, about thinking that Beau was so cool and hot and everything, and it just made me happy to see that someone else really appreciated Beau for who she is, right? She deserves that so much, and I never want her to be lonely- and I guess I was a little jealous, because they disappeared and I had totally been meaning to talk to Beau and I still haven’t gotten the chance to ask her about this one thing, but mostly I was just happy that they were having fun, so it’s okay. But I want that- to just really like someone and have fun with them.” Jester rambles. Caleb’s face stays forcibly level as she speaks. “I just mean, Beau really showed me that relationships can be natural, and maybe just crushing on the first guy I met wasn’t the best idea.”

“Yes, well,” Caleb says slowly. “Beau certainly has a way with women.” He pulls a face, and Jester laughs. 

“She can’t help that she’s smoking hot, Caleb.” She says. Caleb gives her a look, which seems pointed but she’s not sure what point she’s supposed to be getting from it. “What?” 

“Jester,” Caleb sighs, checking back over his shoulder to where Fjord is holding steady on the balcony before turning in his chair back towards her, elbows planted on his knees. “Forgive me, if I am reading this entire conversation wrong I will eat my socks-” 

“Don’t do  _ that, _ that’s gross.” Jester interrupts. Caleb sighs and clasps his hands together. 

“To me, it sounds as if everything you have just said is a very convoluted admission that you are, er, crushing, as you said, on Beauregard,” Caleb says. Jester gapes at him. 

“ _ What?” _ Jester says a little too loudly. Caleb cringes. 

“Forgive me, I may be wrong, it is not my place to draw conclusions, I am simply observing the facts,” Caleb says. Jester huffs, crossing her arms, and... doesn’t know what to say. 

It’s not like it hasn’t crossed her own mind, is the thing. She’s caught herself too many times too count at this point admiring Beau in more than a platonic sense, or getting jealous of her and the women she flirts with, more jealous than she can excuse as just wanting someone ambiguous to give her attention like that, but feeling like  _ Beau  _ could be giving her attention like that. And she  _ does, _ is the thing. More and more lately Beau will make a comment or a joke and Jester will laugh and blush and the conversation will move on, but she won’t stop thinking about it for days, running the words through her head in a happy little loop before the thoughts get interrupted with feeling like she shouldn’t be misinterpreting what Beau’s saying, she’s just joking around, of course, she  _ can’t  _ like Jester, they’re best friends! And Jester doesn’t even  _ like _ her like that, of course, so there’s no reason for her to be so happy when Beau says something that  _ could _ be flirting, it’s just a joke. 

“I don’t like Beau,” Jester says flatly. Caleb releases his hands, raising them defensively. 

“ _ Ja, _ okay, I will drop it.” He says. 

“I just meant all that you know, factually. Beau is super cool and hot and any woman is lucky to have her, and seeing that helped me realize my feelings for Fjord weren’t anything close to like, real feelings, because they’re nothing like that.” Jester’s words feel thick on her tongue. Caleb nods, sitting back in his chair. “Besides, it wouldn’t matter if I  _ did _ because Beau wouldn’t feel the same way.” Jester huffs and hugs her knees. Caleb looks at her for a long moment and then sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Jester, I will drop this, I promise, but you’re saying these words and it is impossible to interpret them as anything but denial. It is okay if you feel things for Beau you are confused about, it is not a bad thing. And I do not- it is not my place, but I do not think that you are entirely right, that they would be unrequited feelings.” Caleb says, rubbing his face. Jester glares at him. 

“I’m not confused.” She says firmly. 

“Bad wording- these things are complicated. I am no expert- far from it. You said it yourself though, you think she is attractive. “Smoking hot”, I believe, were the words,” Caleb says. Jester chews her lip because she  _ did _ say it, exactly like that. And she means it. 

“Just- that’s true, though?” Jester says slowly. Caleb meets her eyes. 

“You see how I could have come to the conclusion that you like her, then?” Caleb says. Jester pouts. 

“I’m just saying she’s pretty. And you know, nice and cool and the kind of person I would like to fall in love with. I’m not saying I’m in love  _ with her _ .” Jester says. Caleb purses his lips. “And I don’t know what you mean when you say she might have feelings for me, that’s just silly.” 

“I...I will not list the reasons that I think you may be wrong,” Caleb starts. 

“Good,” Jester says a little sharply. Caleb purses his lips and shakes his head. 

“I am just a third party here, but I also consider you a friend, and as a friend, I am saying that if you would  _ like _ to be in love with Beau, you may already be. That is all.” Caleb raises his hands again and looks away. Jester goes to find a comeback and... can’t. It’s fairly sound logic if she’s being honest. She runs through their whole conversation again and cringes. 

“I’m sorry I snapped.” She says finally. Caleb nods, not looking at her. The rain buffets the balcony doors, but Jester is relieved to realize the ship has been rolling less and less as they’ve been talking. 

“I am sorry I pushed. I am just saying things as I see them, I can cut out the advice if you wish.” Caleb says. Jester nods. 

“It’s okay, Caleb. Thank you.” She says softly. Caleb smiles softly. Fjord looks over his shoulder, waving through the window back at them. Caleb and Jester wave back, and he gives a thumbs up, then cups his hands and shouts something up towards where Caduceus is probably standing on the deck. 

“I should go see what’s going on with dinner since Caduceus is busy,” Jester says, putting her notebook under her arm and pushing herself unsteadily to her feet. For some reason, she feels woozy and drained. Caleb gives her a nod. 

“Nott was threatening to cook, you better stop that,” he says. Jester pulls a face and puts her hand on the door. She thinks of more things she could say for a moment but pushes them down after a second. She pushes open the door and braces for the wind and rain. 

“Ow! Fuck-” Jester jumps back, the door swinging open as she pushes it and slamming a rain-soaked Beau directly in the face. 

“Beau- I’m so sorry!” Jester collects herself and rushes forward, pulling Beau’s hand away from her face to inspect the mark on her forehead. It’s not a cut, at least, but probably hurts a lot. 

“It’s okay, Jes, I was just looking for you,” Beau says, forcing a smile and steadying herself with a hand on Jester’s shoulder. 

“I’m out of healing, but here,” Jester kisses Beau’s forehead lightly, making an over-exaggerated smacking sound and laughing as she pulls away. Beau laughs too, looking over Jester’s shoulder towards Caleb. Jester glances back and see’s the man with his head in his hands, laughing. She quickly slams the door with her tail and slips out of Beau’s grasp, wiping her hair out of her face. 

“What’s going on?” She says, voice rising over the wind. Beau looks away from the door and back to her. 

“Nott and Yasha took over the kitchen and I legit think we’re all about to be poisoned unless someone intervenes. I can at least like, copy what Caduceus does if you help me?” Beau says. Jester laughs a little awkwardly. 

“Okay!” She says, hooking an arm with Beau and dragging her towards the hatch. 

“Is everything okay?” Beau asks as soon as they get down the ladder. Jester looks over her shoulder, already headed towards the mess room. 

“It’s fine, why?” She asks lightly. Beau nods and shrugs. 

“Nothing, let’s go.” She wrings her cloak out and follows Jester down the hall. 

\--- 

Beau finds Fjord when the storm is over after they’ve figured out the course to correct to get to the islands on time, and when Jester is asleep, she and Caduceus finally able to take a day off to catch up from the overwork of the storm. Beau taps the half-orc on the arm and joins him at the helm. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Fjord asks, smiling at her and training his eyes back on the horizon. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, I’m not gonna be pissed at you, okay?” Beau says, crossing her arms and squinting towards where Fjord is looking. 

“Uh, okay?” Fjord says, sounding worried. 

“Did you talk to Caleb about my whole...Jester thing?” Beau asks, trying to be quiet. Fjord looks down at her surprised. 

“No, of course not.” He says quickly. “Did something happen?” 

“Not exactly,” Beau sighs, a mix of relief and worry spinning in her chest. “He kinda gave me this weird look, yesterday, and Jester’s been...I don’t know, but they were talking and I just wondered.” Beau shrugs, rolling her neck. 

“Weird how?” Fjord asks. 

“Like, okay, Jester opened your door and hit me in the face, right?” She explains, “And she kissed my forehead to like, make it better,” Fjord giggles at that, and narrowly avoids her attempt to swat at him. “Shut up. But Caleb was in there with her and just, like, looked at me weird. Like he knew, I guess. And then just started laughing. So I wondered if you’d talked to him.” 

“I didn’t, though I wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to figure things out. Interesting that she’s acting weird, though...” Fjord hums and Beau huffs. 

“She’s probably just tired, I just like, woke up and she was staring at her book but not writing? So I asked if she wanted to turn a lamp on and she jumped like a foot off her bed and then really quickly went to sleep or at least pretended too.” Beau sighs, running a hand through her hair. 

“She does probably have a lot on her mind right now,” Fjord says.

“Yeah, it probably has nothing to do with me.” Beau scans the horizon again, wishing for a blip of land anywhere. 

“She  _ did _ kiss you on the forehead, though?” Fjord says with a tilt in his voice. Beau buries her face in her hands. 

“Yeah! She’s just being nice and cute and- god damn it she’s perfect.” Beau rests her head against Fjord’s upper arm and he laughs. 

“I mean- that’s not nothing, that’s pretty sweet. Have you written another letter?” Fjord asks, patting her a little awkwardly on the back. Beau straightens up and shrugs. 

“I don’t know what else to say. I thought about like, writing love letters, but that’s so stupid because she’d just start trying to guess who was sending them, and the options are  _ so limited _ .” Beau waves her hand to their surroundings, open water and the dark wood of the boat. 

“Hmm, I mean, yeah, that might get awkward fast,” Fjord says slowly. “A good idea to save for when we’re back in society, though.” He smiles at Beau and she shakes her head. 

“I don’t want her to figure it out like that. Hell- what am I even saying, I don’t want her to  _ figure it out! _ I don’t want to mess up what we have.” Beau says, shaking her head. Fjord nods along. 

“But part of you  _ does _ , doesn’t it?” He says. Beau swats at him again, landing a hit on his shoulder but managing to keep it soft enough that he only winces a small amount. 

“What I  _ want _ doesn’t matter, we’re good how we are. There are other things to think about. Like finding fucking land.” Beau groans and pulls out her spyglass, scanning the horizon again. 

“We should at least be able to see something by the end of the day if Orly’s right about where we are. We’re on track.” Fjord says, tapping his fingers on the wheel. Beau sighs and puts the ornate spyglass away. 

“Yeah, okay. I’m gonna go... look busy I guess. Not sit silently in our room and wait for her to wake up like I’ve been doing.” Fjord snorts, shaking his head at her. 

“Whipped, man. Go get someone to tighten the sails, see if we can pick up some speed here.” Beau gives Fjord another deserved swat on the arm and hops out of range of his retaliation, throwing a middle finger over her shoulder as she jogs across the ship to complete the task with a smile on her face. 

\---

Beau does wind up writing the love letter. In fact, she spends most of her spare moments on the ship when Jester is busy out of the room curled in her bunk, writing scraps of her feelings between reviewing the pages of notes on Tharazidun. She tucks the pink fancy paper into the back fold of her notebook, folded in half and slowly filling up with little paragraphs of admiration. It starts with a list of reasons she loves Jester, which feels risky enough, so she follows it up with a stream of consciousness rationalization of why she  _ can’t _ take the chance of rejection, all the reasons Jester probably doesn’t love her back, all the reasons it wouldn’t work out.  _ I almost die every day, _ Beau writes. Her brain helpfully replays Jester’s words from so long ago,  _ and I would try to heal you back! _

Beau sighs and shuts the book, tucking her pencil back into the loop on the cover and hiding the book under her pillow. She stretches out as much as she can on the bunk and winces as her back cracks in protest. And then nearly gives herself a concussion as the door opens with a bang. 

“There’s- things, attacking.” Yasha grunts as she hurries into the room and grabs her sword where it’s lying beside her bedroll. Beau jumps out of the bed and picks up her staff, hurrying after the woman as shouts start to ring out through the ship. 

“What kind of things?” Beau yells after Yasha, who just points up and ascends the ladder quickly. Beau groans and rushes after her, emerging on deck and immediately narrowly missing as a crossbow bolt shoots past her, impaling a wrinkly creature holding a rapier as it drops from the sky to the deck. Beau looks up and curses as she spots a good dozen flying creatures circling above. Caleb’s up by the wheel, aiming a spell as Nott guards his feet, and Beau vaults the stairs to stand next to him. 

“Can you get me up there?” She shouts, waving her staff uselessly. The riders on the- wyverns? She isn’t sure, but they certainly look deadly, shoot spells and arrows down at them from above. Caleb nods at her and searches through his pockets for a moment before gesturing at her, and suddenly she feels lighter than air. Beau nearly loses her balance, but it wouldn’t matter because as she stumbles a foot backward she finds herself stepping  _ up _ , into the air. 

“Fuck yeah!” Beau shouts as the wind picks up. She takes another experimental step and then forces herself forward, flying towards the creatures and cracking her knuckles, lightning gathering at her fingertips. 

Beau lands what must be only minutes later, next to Jester as she’s elbow deep in wyvern guts. 

“Ha!” Jester shouts, pulling her hand back and waving some dripping organ at Beau and Nott, whose watching next to her excitedly. 

“What’s that?” Beau asks. Jester grins at her, blood splattered on her face and somehow still beautiful, and drags her bag over next to her. 

“It’s venom! Nott can dip her bolts in it, probably. I need vials to store it in, but this will work for now.” Jester flips open the side pocket of the bag of holding and jams the organ into the dark space, emerging empty-handed but still covered in blood. She pushes herself to her feet and finally looks down at her dress. 

“Aww, this is ruined.” She pouts, shaking her hands and splattering blood onto the deck. Beau stifles a laugh. 

“We’ll wash it when we dock,” Beau says reassuringly. “Which should be soon, these guys must have come from a land somewhere!” She scans the horizon hopefully. 

“I’ll take care of that for you if you’d like.” Orly drawls, lumbering up behind Jester. Jester tilts her head and he waves a hand, and the gore disappears from her dress and arms bit by bit. Jester giggles and claps her hands. 

“Caleb  _ really _ should learn that spell!” She chirps. Beau rolls her eyes, taking in Jester now that she’s not covered in other people's blood, and wincing as she sees the marks of a bolt taken to her shoulder, and blood already seeping back through on her thigh. She places a hand on Jester’s non-injured shoulder and squeezes. 

“Heal up, if we land today we want you ready to go,” Beau whispers. Jester hums, turning instead to Beau and jabbing at her stomach lightly. 

“Jes, I’m okay. They really only got one good bite on me.” Beau says, batting Jester’s hand away. Jester huffs and puts a hand on her hip anyways, locating the punctures from the creature's teeth and casting a healing spell before Beau can protest. Beau sighs as the pain subsides mostly, and smiles at Jester. 

“Uh,” Jester looks at her, eyes wide. Her hand remains on Beau’s hip. 

“Jes?” Beau asks, tilting her head. Jester blinks and shakes her head, stepping away and touching her hand to her chest, soft light flashing and her wounds closing up.

“See, all good now!” Jester says, voice peaking. Beau smiles at her and scratches the back of her head. 

“Thanks, I’m glad you’re okay,” Beau says softly. Jester smiles, looking a little forced, and bounces on her heels. 

“I’m gonna go... make sure I’m all packed, then!” Jester chirps and spins on her heel before Beau can reply. 

“Wow,” Nott’s voice comes from beside Beau suddenly. Beau jumps and narrowly avoids both kicking Nott and tripping over the creature’s corpse next to her still. 

“Not a fucking word, Nott.” Beau hisses. 

“I’m just surprised I didn’t pick up on that earlier. Wow.” Nott squints at Beau. 

“On  _ what.” _ Beau hisses, preparing a swipe at the woman’s head. Nott  _ laughs _ , scampering away and shouting over her shoulder. 

“Nothing! Good fight up there!” She waves and disappears somewhere amongst the crew milling around. Beau aims a kick to the dead creature next to her’s head. It impacts with a less than satisfying squelch. 

“Here.” Yasha’s voice creeps up from beside her. Beau jumps, cursing and stomping her foot. 

“Sorry,” Yasha puts up a hand apologetically. 

“No- sorry, it’s nothing. Just rattled.” Beau waves a hand, scanning Yasha briefly over for injuries. 

“That was a good fight, I’d like to fly next time.” Yasha gives a smile that only looks half sarcastic, which probably means its earnest. Beau chuckles and waves a hand at Caleb. 

“We’ll flip a coin for it.” She says, staring back down at the corpse. “Help me get this overboard now that Jester’s uh- defiled it?” She asks. Yasha chuckles and nods, helping Beau lift the incredibly heavy creature and half-roll it over to the edge of the deck, and then doing most of the actual work to get it to flop over and go cascading down into the waves. Beau watches the body sink below the water as they leave it in their wake, the ship already picking speed back up. She glances at Yasha, still leaning on the rail. 

“It’s not like, bad that I’m a little in love with Jester, right?” Beau says suddenly, voice soft but high pitched. Yasha blinks and refocuses on her. 

“No, Beau, not at all.” She says softly. Yasha’s hand flexes, towards the little pouch on her hip that Beau knows holds her flower pressing book. “I...” She trails off, looking back towards the water, and then steels herself. 

“I was best friends with my wife, before anything else,” Yasha says slowly. Beau’s nodding freezes a little and forces herself to keep an even face. 

“Sweet.” She says dumbly. Yasha grimaces. 

“She was. What I mean, though, is that...Jester will not turn you away.” Yasha holds up a finger before Beau can protest. “Even if she rejects you, which I...we will have to see, I guess, she will not just give up on the friendship you have formed. She does not let go easily.” Yasha rests her hand lightly on Beau’s shoulder, awkward but reassuring at the same time. 

“She would pray for you, most nights,” Beau says softly. Yasha’s eyes fall, but she nods. 

“I think... a part of me could feel it. Feel her watching.” Yasha says softly. 

“She wouldn’t have let us give up on you. Not that we would have anyways, but she was always at the front of that.” Beau says. Yasha meets her eyes again. 

“So you see what I mean?” She says. Beau sighs and nods. 

“I’m not going to tell her, still.” 

“There’s no rush,” Yasha says, lips quirking up again. Beau groans and rolls her head on her shoulders. 

“Okay, okay. I should go- first mate duties, or something.” Beau says with a sigh. Yasha nods and steps away, drifting off towards where Caduceus is checking over some of the crew for injuries. Jester is beside him, not as much helping as gesturing wildly, seemingly recounting her point of view on the battle. Beau smiles and turns away to find Fjord instead. 

\--- 

“And Beau punched the dragon thing and it  _ died _ in mid-air, and nearly fell on me!” Jester says with delight. Caduceus nods, patting a crew member on the shoulder and sending the last of the line on their way. He finally turns to her attentively. 

“She is certainly good at that.” He agrees, smiling as Jester lights up even more. 

“She’s so cool and strong, and she was  _ flying _ , which I know was Caleb’s doing, but still, she should fly all the time, I think.” 

“Well, she’s already so fast... but it could be useful,” Caduceus says evenly. Jester nods and claps her hands together. 

“I’m gonna draw the coolest pictures of this tonight!” She exclaims, before glancing around. They’re mostly alone on this side of the deck. “Cad, can I ask you something?” She says, suddenly quiet. Caduceus folds up his medical supplies and nods, leaning a little closer. 

“Of course, what is it?” He says gently. Jester fiddles with her skirts for a moment. 

“Well, do you think I talk about Beau too much? Like, does it sound like... like I think of her differently?” Jester says awkwardly. Caduceus blinks. 

“Differently how?” He asks after a moment. Jester huffs. 

“Like, not just friends,” she says.

“Of course you and Beau are friends,” Caduceus says, sounding confused. Jester groans. 

“That’s not what I mean, I know  _ that. _ I- Caleb seems to think I-” Jester glances around again. “He thinks that I  _ love _ her, in a romantic way,” Jester says in a whisper. Caduceus hums, leaning back a little and looking at Jester seriously. 

“And you aren’t sure if you do?” Caduceus says. Jester balls her hands into fists. 

“I would know if I did, wouldn’t I?” She asks anxiously. 

“Not necessarily, I think...I think what you have with Beau is very special, and that can be confusing.” He eases to his feet and steps around Jester to lean on the rail, out over the ocean. He motions for Jester to join him. “Look there,” He says, guiding her with a long hand. “There’s a bit of land. It might be where we’re headed, it might not. But it’s exciting.” As if on cue, someone shouts out, and there’s a telltale whoop from Fjord and Beau at the helm. Caduceus smiles to himself. 

“We’re headed into something unknown, and it’s important to you, and I imagine you’re scared to make any decisions too fast.” Jester nods, eyes fixed on the slowly appearing speck of green on the horizon. 

“I’m scared to change anything. We just got Yasha back, and there’s so much to be worried about that I just feel bad for being excited,” Jester says.

“Well, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with change. And I... none of us are going to let something get in the way of us as a group anytime soon.” Caduceus pats Jester on the shoulder. 

“I love you guys,” Jester says softly. Caduceus rubs her shoulder, smiling. 

“We love you too, Jester.” He says. Jester smiles. 

“Do you think Beau- nevermind.” Jester sighs and wraps her arms around herself, leaning into Caduceus' tough. He looks knowingly at her for a long moment, then turns his head over his shoulder. 

“What do you think your answer is, Jester?” He says. Jester follows his gaze. Beau is hanging from a rope as she descends from the crow's nest, exchanging a few words with Fjord and gesturing towards their destination. She catches Jester’s gaze and immediately let's go with one hand to wave, nearly losing her balance and falling. She catches herself and gives Jester a thumbs up, grinning, before kicking off and landing on the deck expertly. Fjord claps her on the shoulder and turns back to the wheel, and Beau starts making her way towards them. Jester turns to reply to Caduceus and finds him already gone, waving with a smile as he heads towards the bow of the ship. Jester brushes her hair down and fixes her gaze back on Beau. 

“Feeling ready, most amazing cleric on the seas?” Beau says warmly, placing her elbows on the rail of the ship next to Jester, back arched as she leans her head back over the water, turned halfway towards Jester, halfway towards the sky. Jester tears her gaze from the line of Beau’s throat and studies the softly embroidered triangles at the hem of her robes instead. 

“Oh, you know.” Jester giggles nervously. Beau chuckles and smiles at her. 

“You’re calling the shots from here on, Jes. We’ve got your back,” Beau says. Jester nods, turning back out towards the approaching line of land on the horizon. 

“Just, make me seem like,  _ super  _ cool,” Jester says a bit nervously. Beau grins at her. 

“Well that’s easy, you already are.” She says quickly. Jester ducks her head and rests her horn against Beau’s shoulder. Beau stiffens a tiny bit for just a moment before she turns around and wraps an arm loosely around Jester’s waist, tucking her shin on top of Jester’s head. 

“Thanks,” Jester says softly. Beau hums. 

“Do you think that gnoll will be here?” Beau asks. Jester thinks for a moment and shrugs.

“Maybe, he said he would. He was pretty fun!” She replies. Beau laughs. 

“I hope I didn’t embarrass you when we went to talk to him.” She says softly. Jester moves her head back so she can see Beau’s face. It’s formed a mask, hard to read but obviously covering something. Jester frowns and rests back against Beau. 

“Of course not, Beau.” She says slowly, playing with the edge of Beau’s sash at their pressed-together hips. 

“Okay, good. I just rambled a lot- I won’t do that this time.” Beau says. Jester thinks back for a second. 

“Did you mean it?” She says after a moment. Beau pauses. 

“Uh, which part?” 

“Like, the part about following me anywhere,” Jester says, feeling herself blush. Beau laughs, warm skin feeling even warmer where it brushes against Jester. 

“Look where we are right now, Jes. Of course, I mean that. Anywhere you are is a place worth being.” Beau’s voice cracks a bit at the end, and Jester sucks in a breath. 

“If this goes bad, Beau...” She says softly. Beau starts to protest, say something to reassure Jester, but she plows on. “If something happens, I want you to know how thankful I am. And how much I love you.” Jester says firmly. Beau’s leaning away, taking Jester in with her wise blue eyes. 

“We all love you too, Jes,” Beau says earnestly. Jester nods, and then shakes her head, horns jingling. Her hands find themselves tangled in Beau’s, her nails probably poking into her skin a little too firmly. 

“I know that. But-  _ you _ , Beau.” Jester puts as much emphasis as she can into the words. Beau blinks. 

“I love you, Jester. I’m with you for whatever happens.” Beau replies, stunned. Jester takes a step forward, toes boxing Beau’s feet in. 

“Can I say something and have you promise not to get scared off?” Jester says, forcing the heat in her chest down. Beau blinks and nods silently. 

“I think I- I  _ feel _ like I _ love  _ you, Beau,” Jester says awkwardly. 

“Oh,” Beau says softly. 

“I think you love me and I think I love you back.” Jester is focusing very hard on a point mid-air just to the side of Beau’s chin. The woman in front of her ducks her head a bit until Jester is looking her in the eyes. Beau squeezes Jester’s hands firmly. 

“Are you sure?” Beau says. Jester huffs, 

“If I’m wrong about how you feel I’m sorry-” 

“You’re not,” Beau says. Jester bites her tongue to stop her words. She takes a very deep breath. 

“Then, yes, I’m sure,” Jester says, and suddenly she is, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Beau’s eyes light up like she’s just solved the most difficult puzzle. 

“Okay then,” She says with a bit of a laugh. Jester follows suit. 

“Well, if that’s settled,” Beau says. She doesn’t move. Beau’s thumb travels back and forth over the planes of her knuckles. 

“What happens next?” Jester asks. Beau’s face has settled into a gentle smile, but she turns away and looks over her shoulder, towards the island in the distance. 

“That’s up to you, Jes,” Beau says, turning back. Jester meets her halfway, as soon as the words are out of her mouth, and slots her lips over Beau’s firmly. Beau makes a noise of surprise in the back of her throat, but her hands squeeze tightly in Jester’s and she presses forward, kissing Jester back. Jester pulls away and rocks back on her heels, head and chest swimming. Her heart beats hard in her ears. Beau smiles dumbly at her. 

“That- that works. That’s good.” She says. Jester feels herself smiling. 

“We should get ready to row to land,” Jester says firmly. Beau nods stiffly. 

“I can- yeah, okay.” Beau looks a hair disappointed but doesn’t move her eyes from Jester’s face. 

“We  _ should, _ also, do a lot more of that.” Jester whispers. Beau nods, pressing her lips together tightly. Jester pecks them again, relishing in how easily Beau breaks into a smile under her lips. Somewhere behind them, something falls, and someone shouts something shrilly. Jester shakes her head. 

“Fuck off, Nott!” Beau shouts, momentarily distracted from Jester. Jester fixes that quickly, leaning back in and kissing Beau, releasing her hands to reach up and cup her warm cheeks. Beau tries to get out another muffled word and then gives up, nails scratching the back of Jester’s scalp. Jester presses her up against the rail of the ship and kisses her until she’s breathless, until she’s heard quite a few more exclamations of surprise-  _ supportive surprise _ , but still, from their gathering friends, before she relents and leans her head down to rest on Beau’s chest, dropping her hands to encircle Beau’s waist. Beau pats her back and catches her breath. 

“Is it gonna be like this all the time, now?” Nott asks loudly. 

“Yes, get used to it,” Beau says sharply, but with no actual malice behind it. Nott grumbles. 

“Oh, finally.” Caleb’s voice carries. Jester giggles into Beau’s robes. 

“It is a relief, isn’t it?” Fjord quips. Jester glances behind herself, where Nott is smiling and picking up a spilled box, Fjord and Caleb standing next to each other a little further away with huge smiles on their faces. Caduceus emerges from below decks and takes one soft-eyed look at them as he brushes off his robes, stepping aside so Yasha can join behind him. 

“Ah, good,” Yasha says softly, smiling at Jester and Beau. Jester pushes off Beau, dropping one hand to find the woman’s and tangling their fingers together. 

“Okay, developments aside, who's ready to do this?” 

“What’s the plan?” Fjord asks, unable to his smile but fixing his stance to be more captainly. Jester can’t stop her grin, but she takes a breath and squeezes Beau’s hand, and launches into her ideas. Behind her, Beau smiles, love in her eyes. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This fic marks 3 huge milestones:  
> -I have officially written/posted a fic EVERY MONTH this year!  
> -I have 60 fics total posted to ao3!  
> -I have written a whooping 200,000 words of fanfiction on here!  
> More in in the works (as in, I have something to post immediately after this that I wrote as a break from this fic), but please feel welcome to check out my other Beaujester fics and everything else I've written! Some of it is probably pretty old and bad but I'm leaving it up 'cause like, growth or something.  
> Kudos and Comments are the whole reason I do this <3 let me know what you want to see next!


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